frozen hell alleycat
ouch.

ndanger has done it again: he's put on another kickass alleycat that kicked asses in the ass.



i regret not leaving my nice big 29er tire on the front. i regret wearing the most worn out pair of chucks that ever existed in history in freezing cold weather and while trying to push my bike up steep slippery hills. i also should have worn a helmet, but i wasn't thinking. usually, alleycats don't really necessitate a helmet. i guess i should have checked out the route a little more closely or pre-rode it, because i was mostly unaware of all of the singletrack stuff in schenley.

the weather got pretty nasty as the leaders got into the very technical singletrack stuff at frick park. the ground became more frozen and the tire ruts were starting to throw my cross slick front tire all over the road, especially around turns. i was contemplating letting some air out of the tire, but knowing i was close to the end of the treacherous portions and also the race i just kept plodding along. occasionally veering off the trail into the brush or flopping down on my side after "skiing" down some hill with my back wheel locked up. i think i fell about 10 times. 3 of those were pretty intense flops. the left side of my body is bruised/sore: shoulder, elbow, hip, thigh. i hurt my thumbs somehow. my right hip has a nice bruise too. the left side of my neck is sore.

about 30 riders started. i finished 12th.

the best part of any alleycat is often the after party. lots of PBR was consumed, as dave was able to get sponsorship. hearandnow stopped by with a case of bud pounders that i decided to donate to the party since the beer was going pretty quickly. somehow, a discussion about wrist-strengthening gyroscope devices and isometric exercises with twojeez became a new drinking sport. the exciting sport of "beer holding". the debut matchup pitted justin "twojeez" against "king ted". after a grueling something-like-five-and-a-half minutes ted caved and justin was declared the victor. 2 more beer holding matches occurred including the ladies division and surlyrob versus "the champaigne of steves".

BEER HOLDING CONTEST RULES

two (or more) contestants hold a full unopened beer out at arms length (no bent elbows!). no leaning against walls or tables is permitted. trash talking, side bets, and silly faces are encouraged. a 90 degree arm/torso angle should be enforced to prevent mechanical advantage. the match typically begins at the signal of the traditional phrase: "ready! set! HOLD!". if olympic swiss timing is available, the longest beer holds should be noted in the annals of beer holding history.

this game proved to be much more fun than the one where we tried to see who could yell "penis" the loudest. i hope that it becomes a mainstay for post-alleycat festivities for centuries to come.